Happiness - For Self and Others. How being mindful of second hand happiness affects you and others

I decided to do this blog post because recently, I have been seeing both sides of the coin on happiness. Being one to listen to the universe's signs, I decided to perk up my ears and mind, paying better attention. After all, the universe sends these signs to us for a reason!

It all started when a very good, and very wonderful, friend of mine sent me a very powerful message. Mind you, I had been working on my happiness before that; however, this message started the snowball effect for me, paying attention more intently.

The quote was (and if anyone knows the author, please let me know) --

Do you ever get secondhand happiness?

Like someone is happy so you're happy

Because they're happy?

How positive, how powerful, and how profound these three little lines convey to the reader! It truly struck me in such a way, especially on my journey of finding happiness. I am not going to hide the fact that I did get a little emotional when my wonderful friend sent me that. Those three little lines, coupled with the fact that someone close to me sees how I am working so very hard in this chapter of my life, that they took the time to just cheer me on like that! It had a deeply profound effect on my determination and growth! Now yes, I am blessed that I do have other very close friends who are supportive of me, however, I know, deep in my soul, that the Universe sent that message, at that particular time, through that person, to make sure I received it loud and clear!

Why, may you ask, was it so profound to me at that point in my life? Well, let me explain, it came at a time when I was transitioning into my happiness. I was working on identifying, accepting, and putting into action, the need that I had to be okay with who I've become. How, after many years, I forgot what it was to be just a woman who had needs that I forgot to fulfill. And let me tell you, as a woman at 50 years of age, doing this is a daunting task! Yes, I am still becoming the person I want to be, which is a woman who is in love with life, being open and accepting of all the experiences that come with it - big and small. A woman who, until recently has always put everyone else's needs and wants to the forefront, whilst mine lie behind me, patiently waiting to be seen. Believe me when I say that, once I finally dusted off my own needs -- WHEW they were raring to be completely fulfilled!

Now, mind you, going back to secondhand happiness; it is not about just being happy for someone close to you. It is simply about being purely and deeply happy for someone, even if it doesn't directly benefit you. Just simply seeing the struggles a person is going through, and recognizing that they are fighting very hard to find their happiness - sometimes alone. By graciously offering secondhand happiness to another person, you are giving that person the determination to continue forward. And it is that type of happiness for others that will also directly affect your happiness as well. Because, let's be honest here, as human beings, our well-being is dependent upon connections to others. Yes, there may be times that many of us feel the need to be introverted, to recharge, or whatever we need to do, and yes, I am very much like that also. However, even as someone who, for many years, shied away from groups and large events due to a lack of energy, I know that I still need a strong connection to others. Our well-being directly correlates to how those that we choose to surround ourselves with, support us. It is their generosity and their support that are the strong predictors, as well as maintainers, of our well-being.

I know what you're thinking, What about secondhand happiness to strangers, does that help their well-being too? Well, I thought the same thing. And, because you know I love research, I delved into that - very deeply I fell into the rabbit hole I might add - to find the answers. And the answer is - YES! Why? Because happiness is contagious! It makes you shine, inside and out!

Think about this for a moment; if you are walking around in daily life, head down and not making eye contact, or, scowling all the time; how do the people around you react? Many will unconsciously move out of your way, avoiding any direct interactions with you. And, as the day wears on, as more people avoid you, your happiness fades away. Well, guess what? You have projected your dour mood and have unconsciously altered the other person's energy of happiness too. Because of your lower frequency, you have directly affected, and infected, other people's frequency, thus causing an avalanche of negative emotions that will continue to be spread to others - can anyone say nasty virus?!

Now, the other side of that coin. You find a bit of happiness in your day, it doesn't have to be anything big or profound - just any little thing at all. You then walk around in daily life, head high, and just give a tiny smile, or a a simple hello to someone. Well, by doing this small act, you have transferred positive energy to those around you and essentially infected happiness you might say - into that person's energy. Your simple minuate act has made a profound difference in that person's life so that their day goes on to be better.

I think of it as based on the foundation of Like Attracts Like. Whatever you put forth in life attracts you and reflects on you.

Going further, I wanted to explore how secondhand happiness affects those closest to me. And again, down the rabbit hole, I went (yeah research, and I have a deep love affair). What I found was, well a 'circle of energy' and one that is eternally continuous! Talk about profound and eye-opening! It is such a dynamic of transference and balance! And one that I have never really thought about until recently. I always used it mindfully when I did readings or healings, but I didn't pay much attention - mindfully - in my relationships.

Yeah, the Universe was helping me to not only see but to expand my growth! To be completely aware of the impact that I make in my life, and the lives of others, simply because I was, and am, working on my happiness! Thank you Universe!!!

I then decided to do another, more intimate, deep dive, and, going through my life experiences, I found a pattern. When I am 'happy', my life is happier. When I am 'giving second-hand happiness', my life stays happier. I feel that I am a more aware and balanced person when I give secondhand happiness. Now, I will state that this may not be the case for anyone else, but I can attest it is for my life. Even recently I have been adopting the attitude of "We may not be friends, or not even know each other, but I am so happy for you'. What this means is that no matter who you are in the world, whether we are friends, used to be friends, or we've never met, I am happy when you are happy - I am your happiness cheering squad!

And why not? Why not be happy for others who are working on being happy? It doesn't cost anything to spread happiness or kindness, but it can potentially cost you everything to maintain negativity!

Our lives can be so wrought with negative impacts that we may feel that we have lost who were are, or feel like we are buried and will never see the light of day. It affects us on so many levels, draining any light we may seek. But, I can assure you, you are strong and you will come out of the rubble, you will find who you are - just keep going. And know that there are people out there, going through what you are going through. Keep seeking that light and along the way, look for dribbles of happiness, even the second kind!

So, my dear Readers, in conclusion, to you I say this -- I may know you and be a part of your life, or may not know you or be a part of your li, but I am happy for you! Msecondhandnd happiness shines for you daily! You are amazing and you are succeeding so keep going! You deserve happiness and I am here cheering you on!